If I could somehow transport myself back in time, to erase the errors of the past few years, to take everything I've learned and to tell that young girl still to go through it all, then this is what I'd tell her.
Firstly, I'd start by telling her life isn't fair. It never is, and it never will be. Life is long, it's a bumpy road that is very rarely smooth. Its packed full of double standards, and judgement, and not to mention pain. But to learn how to stand tall and defiant, you have to go through it all. You have to play with fire to be burnt, and only then will you realise you're not untouchable.
You need to learn trust. Trust is what any human relationship needs to be built on, and without that cracks begin to form, and jealousy and insecurity seep into those cracks, and before you know it, everything is crumbling. So, trust in people until they give you a reason to not do so. But remember to not judge every person by one persons deception.
He may have been as near to love as you've experienced, and learn to accept that you don't hate him. You try to, but you never will. Your relationship was brief, and yes, it never worked out, but you were both young, and not everyone is fortunate enough to meet 'the one' at 19. So, live with the fact you can never hate him, and every time you try, he will make you smile, or laugh, and you'll forget why you hated him in the first place, and instead why you fell for him. He's that guy, the one you can't be with, but he's the one you never want to live without. It's just balance.
Brush off the people that bring you down. Life is precious, and never long enough and every breath we take in life is a privilege, and one that can be taken at any moment. You need to surround yourself with the people that make you smile, the ones that make you laugh so much your cheeks ache. Not the ones that spend their time miserable. Those who live with their glass half empty are those waiting for something to change, but unwilling to make it happen. Be an optimist, and remember your glass is half full.
He was never worth your time. Every word he spoke was a lie, and I know that you still feel this wounded pride at having been fooled by him, but its time to let it go. Its time to let go of that grudge you still hold, and lift your head high. He fooled you once, but the best recipe for karma is to just keep on smiling. Nothing hurts more than seeing that somebody really doesn't give two shits.
Girls can be the most manipulative, snide, evil sex, and by now you've learn that the hard way. But it will never change. Girls will always lash out with venomous words, they'll use bitter insults that are the polar opposite of you because that's all they have. Insecurities and jealousy, and rather than act like a mature, human being, they'll resort to name calling. And when they do, just laugh. There's really no point letting yourself get stressed over it, or upset. Those girls will never really know you, and they'll never be your friends. They're bullies, and just pity them because you're so much better than that.
If people insist on interpreting the hell out of every word you plaster over facebook and Twitter and make it about themselves, let them. They're wrong, but they'll always think they're right, so let them waste their time. You don't have to justify anything to anyone. You're so much better than using a social networking website to make digs at people, so let them make themselves look like fools doing just that.
You're talented, and don't be disheartened by rejection. Send your work out and when it gets rejected, go back to it and improve it and send it back out again and again, and again until someone, somewhere, realises that you're dedicated and willing to work your backside off to succeed, and gives you that break. And if not, keep writing because it makes you feel good. But never lose the hope, or belief that you're meant to be successful in this life. Never.
She never picks up after herself, she's annoying, and sometimes you just want to scream at her to shut the hell up, but she's your true friend. She can be a damn right bitch, but so can you. A friendship won't grow unless you learn to accept another persons faults, because we all have them. Especially you, you have a low patience, and you get ratty, and when you do, she never moans. She just continues to smile, and annoy you, so just laugh. Its much easier, and you know deep down, its what you wanted to do all along.
As much as you sometimes feel like you'll never meet someone who turns your world upside down, you will. You've not even left the nest yet, you've still got the world to see and its populated with billions of different individuals you've yet to meet. And he's out there. He may not be the one you love, or the one you end up marrying, but he'll make you breathless.
Let go of that feeling everyone gives up. Because they will if you keep pushing. You don't need to feel jealous or insecure. If they're worth it, they won't feel the need to cheat and they'll stick around. And if they don't, close the door on them and never look back.
Learn to differentiate her from your brothers ex, and your best friend, because that's all she is now, your best friend. She has no tie to him, and you need to realise that she's going to be happy with her new boyfriend, and you need to be there for her to talk to about that without feeling this immense guilt. She's your bubble buddy, cherish her.
He might not think that you're over him, but you know you are. You don't need to keep proving it to him to prove it to yourself. In your heart, you knew for a while that he wasn't a keeper, and deep down, he knew it, too.
Stop being hard on yourself. You don't need to be skinnier to feel attractive. Put the nachos down and pull on the gym clothes and finally get fit. Once you do, you'll feel better. You know it deep down, so stop making excuses about starting 'tomorrow' because tomorrow always turns into the next day, then the next day, and before you know it, its a month later and you're still regretting the sheer volume of subways you've consumed.
Remember to smile. Life's not so bad.
Firstly, I'd start by telling her life isn't fair. It never is, and it never will be. Life is long, it's a bumpy road that is very rarely smooth. Its packed full of double standards, and judgement, and not to mention pain. But to learn how to stand tall and defiant, you have to go through it all. You have to play with fire to be burnt, and only then will you realise you're not untouchable.
You need to learn trust. Trust is what any human relationship needs to be built on, and without that cracks begin to form, and jealousy and insecurity seep into those cracks, and before you know it, everything is crumbling. So, trust in people until they give you a reason to not do so. But remember to not judge every person by one persons deception.
He may have been as near to love as you've experienced, and learn to accept that you don't hate him. You try to, but you never will. Your relationship was brief, and yes, it never worked out, but you were both young, and not everyone is fortunate enough to meet 'the one' at 19. So, live with the fact you can never hate him, and every time you try, he will make you smile, or laugh, and you'll forget why you hated him in the first place, and instead why you fell for him. He's that guy, the one you can't be with, but he's the one you never want to live without. It's just balance.
Brush off the people that bring you down. Life is precious, and never long enough and every breath we take in life is a privilege, and one that can be taken at any moment. You need to surround yourself with the people that make you smile, the ones that make you laugh so much your cheeks ache. Not the ones that spend their time miserable. Those who live with their glass half empty are those waiting for something to change, but unwilling to make it happen. Be an optimist, and remember your glass is half full.
He was never worth your time. Every word he spoke was a lie, and I know that you still feel this wounded pride at having been fooled by him, but its time to let it go. Its time to let go of that grudge you still hold, and lift your head high. He fooled you once, but the best recipe for karma is to just keep on smiling. Nothing hurts more than seeing that somebody really doesn't give two shits.
Girls can be the most manipulative, snide, evil sex, and by now you've learn that the hard way. But it will never change. Girls will always lash out with venomous words, they'll use bitter insults that are the polar opposite of you because that's all they have. Insecurities and jealousy, and rather than act like a mature, human being, they'll resort to name calling. And when they do, just laugh. There's really no point letting yourself get stressed over it, or upset. Those girls will never really know you, and they'll never be your friends. They're bullies, and just pity them because you're so much better than that.
If people insist on interpreting the hell out of every word you plaster over facebook and Twitter and make it about themselves, let them. They're wrong, but they'll always think they're right, so let them waste their time. You don't have to justify anything to anyone. You're so much better than using a social networking website to make digs at people, so let them make themselves look like fools doing just that.
You're talented, and don't be disheartened by rejection. Send your work out and when it gets rejected, go back to it and improve it and send it back out again and again, and again until someone, somewhere, realises that you're dedicated and willing to work your backside off to succeed, and gives you that break. And if not, keep writing because it makes you feel good. But never lose the hope, or belief that you're meant to be successful in this life. Never.
She never picks up after herself, she's annoying, and sometimes you just want to scream at her to shut the hell up, but she's your true friend. She can be a damn right bitch, but so can you. A friendship won't grow unless you learn to accept another persons faults, because we all have them. Especially you, you have a low patience, and you get ratty, and when you do, she never moans. She just continues to smile, and annoy you, so just laugh. Its much easier, and you know deep down, its what you wanted to do all along.
As much as you sometimes feel like you'll never meet someone who turns your world upside down, you will. You've not even left the nest yet, you've still got the world to see and its populated with billions of different individuals you've yet to meet. And he's out there. He may not be the one you love, or the one you end up marrying, but he'll make you breathless.
Let go of that feeling everyone gives up. Because they will if you keep pushing. You don't need to feel jealous or insecure. If they're worth it, they won't feel the need to cheat and they'll stick around. And if they don't, close the door on them and never look back.
Learn to differentiate her from your brothers ex, and your best friend, because that's all she is now, your best friend. She has no tie to him, and you need to realise that she's going to be happy with her new boyfriend, and you need to be there for her to talk to about that without feeling this immense guilt. She's your bubble buddy, cherish her.
He might not think that you're over him, but you know you are. You don't need to keep proving it to him to prove it to yourself. In your heart, you knew for a while that he wasn't a keeper, and deep down, he knew it, too.
Stop being hard on yourself. You don't need to be skinnier to feel attractive. Put the nachos down and pull on the gym clothes and finally get fit. Once you do, you'll feel better. You know it deep down, so stop making excuses about starting 'tomorrow' because tomorrow always turns into the next day, then the next day, and before you know it, its a month later and you're still regretting the sheer volume of subways you've consumed.
Remember to smile. Life's not so bad.
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