Rewind.

You know, I take it back. I trust him more than I've ever trusted any one person before, and its scary, trusting someone so much and knowing that they do have that ability to hurt you. The power over you. But trusting them that they're not going to. And I realise that I do trust him. More than ever before, and more than I'd willingly trust any other person.

I've never been in love until now, not the real legit stuff. You know, the ridiculously bad cases of bed hair, and the swollen lips because you literally can not stop kissing him. The texts that make your jaw ache from smiling, and your stomach swarm with butterflies. The way you want to be around him every second of every single day. And the way you love to fall asleep with him, somehow pressed up against him because you just want that contact. 

And he is everything that I ever wanted from a guy, but never found. For my entire dating history, I've been with those who've made me insecure, who've destroyed my trust, and those who've wanted to mould me. And for the first time I am with this person who is entirely content with the person I am, and he still makes me feel special. And for the first time, I think he's affraid to lose me. And I hope that every single person meets somebody and feels what I do for him at least once in their lifetime. 

So to all of those dickheads that hurt me, and played me, I just want to say thank you.
If you hadn't treated me like utter shit, then I probably wouldn't be with someone so amazing now. And I also wouldn't have recognised just how perfect he is without you. So again, thanks.


I'm a very lucky girl. 

I am never letting this guy go, ever.
J.E. <3