Sunday, 18 September 2011

Stepping Stone.

If a year ago, someone had told me that this time next year, I'd be with him, then I wouldn't have bought it. But it's funny isn't it? The way that people who've always been there in our lives, lingering somewhere in the background, but just close enough to not fade away, suddenly become so significant to us. How they could open up our hearts, take away our trust issues, and make us smile like nobody else before. How they can become someone to us.

I feel like I'm falling in love for the first time. And it's scary, it really is. But I'm not scared about messing up anymore. I'm scared of exactly that; love. Scared that I'm the first person he's let this close, fully let in, and allowed himself to feel something for. I'm at a stage in my life where I feel like, for the first time, that I'm ready for something serious, and long-term. I truly feel like Jack is this fixture in my life that I can't see myself without now. And I want it to slowly progress into something bigger, and bigger. And he says he wants that, too. I connect with this guy in a way that I've never done so before. But a part of me feels that this is new for him, and what if he wakes up one day, and I become exactly that? His first love. You know, the one that you plan all of that stuff with. First its the name of the pet you'll get, then it's a bit more serious and you're talking baby names. And then houses, and where you'd like to get married. But what if he wakes up one day, and decides that I was just a stepping stone. An experience. A first time love. 

I'm not sure whether my heart could take that. 

But that's love, isn't it? You go in and slowly you lose reservations, and you let this person into your mind, and your heart, and you never really know how far it'll go. You just have to live life like a stepping stone, taking one step at a time.

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