Thursday, 6 October 2011

Dear, Paige;

When I was younger, I used to wish that my mum and dad would have another baby, this time a girl.  Preferably it would come from a catalogue, because lets face it, thinking of a baby coming through the vaginal passage, let alone thinking of our parents doing it is quite nauseating. But alas, no baby came, and I instead grew up with cousins, one which was you. And growing up we were always more like sisters. But I didn't realise just how close our bond was until these last few years, and I can put my hand on my heart, and solemnly brownie swear that I look to you as nothing but my little sister that I got all those years ago, just not from my own mum.
When we have days together, I love how we laugh at the smallest of things. We binge on junk food, before making pacts to eat healthy from the next day. We watch programmes like Jersey Shore, and Jackass, and then proceed to over abuse their catchphrases, such as Yeahhh, buddy!

I can't believe how much you're growing up, and so quickly. It feels like only a year or so ago that you were that child with the wild bush hair. But here you are, sixteen, and more mature than ever before, and you're growing into the person you're going to be. You know, when you're younger, everything shapes the person you grow up to be, and I am so proud of who you are, Paige.

I know I say you can't date until you're twenty one, and its not because I don't want to see you with a boy, or think you couldn't be with someone worthy. You're beautiful, and any boy would be lucky to be with you. It's more than fact that I don't think I could bear for you to be hurt by one. At twenty one, I've been through situations that at the time, I felt like I wouldn't get through. I've been lied to, and hurt, and it sucks. And the thought that someone might break your heart isn't something I'm comfortable with, because you're my little sister, and I don't think I'd ever be able to see you hurt, without wanting to separating that boys male anatomy. 

But I also know that its those mistakes that teach you vital life lessons. You get hurt so that you know what it feels like. You know, when you can identify hurt like that it makes you stronger. Sometimes people aren't honest, and they lie, and cheat, and at the time it kills you, but when you look back you find that it also taught you to not grace unworthy people with such a precious emotion such as your trust. But there are times when I am so happy, like I am now with Jack, and I want that for you, too. Someone to treat you like you're the only girl they see. Because it's lovely. 

Here are a few things I want you to know.
School might be tough at times, but you can do it. Stick it out, and I have every faith that you'll be glad when you look back.
Buy shoes, and lots of them. And if your mum ever says you have enough, don't listen to her.
You're beautiful, and you can have any guy you want. But those messy haired, rock types seem hot, and mysterious, but they're unhygienic, and most likely have an STD than any form of education. Date the guys who are more than a pretty face. 
Trust until somebody gives you a reason not to. I spent a lot of time with trust issues fucking me up, and when I look back at those times, I feel sad that I was so scared to trust people so easily.
Do fall in love one day, and when you do, tell me every single detail.

And remember, I am here for you every second of every single day. I will never judge you, and whatever situation you find yourself in, believe with certainty that I am here for you, and I have your back, as those so called G's would say.

I love you, little sister.

-Lo x

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