Tuesday, 25 October 2011

What I Learnt In Two Weeks.

1;  That I have the strongest mum, ever. In two weeks, everything she thought was her life has literally fallen apart, and its all been built on lies. And I've watched her cry, and break down. I've seen her take control of our lives. And I've let her comfort me. And during it all, I've seen this strength I always knew was inside of her, and she amazes me. And she'll be okay. Maybe not today, or tomorrow. Or this side of 2011. But one day she will smile again, and she won't feel betrayal, or pain. She'll let those feelings go, and when she does, there we'll be. By her side through it all. Just us three. 
2;  That working in a job just because it funds your ever growing shoe addiction will never make it any more bearable. If there was ever a time for me to chase my dreams, its now. 
3;  I am so proud of my brother Matthew for his achievements out in Thailand, and can't express enough for pleased for him I am that he's been living his own dream out there. But I miss him. And the selfish side of me that needs comfort, and familiarity wants him to come home. The 1st can't come quick enough.
4; That tears don't mean you're a weak person. here have been times during these past two weeks where I've not cried, and I've been able to speak without getting upset. But there’s also been times when I can't help but cry, or do anything except cry, and no any person who sees crying as a weakness, you're wrong. We cry because we need the release, and because sometimes, its the only thing we can do to grieve. 
5;  That I have some pretty amazing people in my life, family and friends, as well as work colleagues. It takes a situation that turns your world upside down for you to realise whose actually there for you. 
6;  That my love for Jack literally grows every day. Never before have I loved a person like I do him, and I'm so lucky he's a part of my life. 
7; I no longer have a dad. He walked out of my life without so much as a truthful explanation, a goodbye, or a genuine apology. He lied to me for pretty much half of my life, and I will never forgive him for the things he's done to my mum, me, or my brother. I've lost family in the last two weeks, but the family I have left are all that I need because they're the good people. The ones who do love me unconditionally, and who deserve to be a fixture in my life. 
8; People who use a tragedy as an excuse to lash out with their vicious words, and have an opinion aren't worthwhile people. They're sad. And something fundamental must be missing in their life is they choose to become to involved with another persons life. 
9; Theo Cullen, welcome to the family. I already love you :)

1 comment:

  1. I'm sending you a virtual hug because you sound like you really need one! Chin up lovely, these bad things that happen to us are sent to test us and make us stronger people. Lots of love being sent your way!
    Sam xx