Saturday, 5 November 2011

Dear, Mum;

God, so much has changed since the last time I blogged about you. There's so much bitterness, and anger and resentment in my life at the moment, but one of the things that brightens up all of those dark, horrible feelings that ruin life is you. You are amazing, and if I ever told you it before, believe that I've never meant it more than I do now. And not because you're strong, but because you're a beautiful person, you really are. The world needs a few more people like you, and a lot less of the types who betray, and hurt on a regular basis. 

I want you to know that I will never stop needing you. I will always ask your advice on pretty much everything, whether or not I like the answer, and even though it probably wouldn't change my mind, but I ask because I care what you think. I will never stop coming to you when I'm upset, because there will never be a time when you can't momentarily mend me. You can't take this pain away, but you make it a hell of a lot better. I will always laugh with you as silly things, because that's what life's about. I will always share my news with you, whether its appropaite or not, because I want you to know the details of my life. We hold too much back for people, and sometimes, we just need to share it with a person. You're that person. When, one day, I move out, I will be on the end of that phone pretty much daily because I will always want to hear your voice. I could live in LA, New York, on Mars, and you'd still be home to me. One day, when I get married, there's not a person I want more than for you to be there. By my side, through it all. And when I'm pregnant, you'll be the person that I want with me, through it all, because who else would I want? And when my baby is here in the world, you're the person I'll be phoning for every single query, because you've been there before, and you can always learn from your mum. 

So, he may have gone, Mum, but you've never been more needed. You're single handedly the most important person in my life, and nothing will ever change that. And I want you to know that I am so proud of you. You could've fallen apart, and nobody would have blamed you, but you've held it together, and I admire you, Mum. I admire the person you are, because if ever there was a role model, then you're it. The qualities you have are the ones that more people need, and that's why it angers me when I think about what he did. A person like you deserve to be loved in such a magical way. And I promise you that one day, whether it be in a few months, a year, or even ten, you will meet someone, and that person will be every single thing you ever deserved. I want that for you.

But until then it's just us three, and Rusty and Seth. And Jack, he's pretty much part of the furniture now, anyway. And we're gonna be okay, because we have love in our lives, and as long as we have that and our sense of humour, we're gonna be just fine. Broke, maybe, but just fine.

I love you, and I always will.

- Lo x

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