Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Dear, Kimberley;

If  I could do just one thing at this precise second, it would be to take all of these feelings away. To make the seemingly dark world you're living in at the moment better. To make you better, to make you laugh and smile. To make you enjoy life again. Because that's my best friend. You know, at times she annoys the absolute hell out of me. She has done for years, way back when she'd run around my house like an absolute lunatic, as my brother watched her bemused. And even then, she just laughed. That was probably an indication that you would always do things that test my short fuse, and make me snap at you. But even then, you just laugh, and after a while its forgotten, and we're both laughing.

But the love I have for you is greater than the smaller things that irritate me because they don't annoy me, not really. I usually want to laugh along at you, but it feels appropriate to
encourage you. But that's my best friend. She's single handedly the person who makes me laugh the most, who I feel like I can turn to with any problem. I don't always fall for the right guys, or make good decision, but never once have I felt like you judge me. I remember you once saying, 'I don't judge you, Lora.' And those words are true, because you don't. Even when I'm telling you that I've fallen for a boy who already has a girlfriend, or crave the attention from an ex who really isn't good for me.

And my best friend is the most unique person on this planet. She wears green nail varnish the colour of bogies, and multicolored genie pants and she isn't fazed by the looks she gets walking down the street. She's defiant, and turns to them people with a smile and says, 'Do you like my trousers? They're from the shop along the road if you want some, too.' And that's not an act, or a projection of a caviler care-free attitude, that's you. You are who you are without any apologies, Kimberley. And you may be unhappy with yourself at the moment, and you might sometimes hate looking in the mirror, but let me tell you something. Females are born with this ability to never see their best attributes, yet they can spend hours picking out their worst. And they waste their life picking away at their faults, wishing they looked like this idealistic person they've created in their head, and before you know it, a year, two, maybe three has passed and you're still that same person. Still look the same. At some point you either have to make a change, or learn to accept yourself and see the refection differently, see it as the person the world sees.

But what I want to tell you now is selfish, because I want you to know how much I need you. These past few years haven't been the best while you were away at University, and I missed my best friend. And I need you in my life because you make it brighter. I've always been used to you being larger than life, being this person who I can laugh about anything with. And my favourite sound is knowing that I've made you laugh. And I miss those times, more than you know. I've been counting down the days until you came home, and now that you're here, you've come back a different person and I don't know how to make that better, but I want you to know that I'll try. Even if you feel alone, you always have me. I'm not going anywhere, not ever. Because you're not my best friend, Kimberley. The love I have for you, the love my family has for you, goes beyond a friend. You're a part of this family, a part of my life, and you always will be.

So whether you need me now, tomorrow, or a year from now, I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be right here because that's what a best friend is. They're not just there to benefit from the good times, they're there to go through the bad times with you, too, to suffer alongside you.

And I love you, Kimberley Tough. And I promise you, this will get better, life will get better.

We all have to believe that.

- Lo x

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