Monday, 8 August 2011

Behind the Sad Smile.

 I think that sometimes in life, we allow ourselves to dream too much. I'm not talking about the aspirational lifelong dreams in respects to jobs, or becoming a world famous musical icon. I'm referring more to those other types of dreams about how we envision our lives to map out. Who exactly we think that we'll marry, and how he kisses us, touches us, makes love to us. In our head, we've already lived those moments time and time again. Sometimes different scenarios, sometimes the same. Sometimes we alter it slightly.

I think that a person is lying if they say that they'd never had at least that one person who they've mentally dreamt up a life with. Somebody they can't stop talking to, somebody that, just seeing their name alone, gives them butterflies and giddy nerves. It's like they're a tipple, an addiction, and you really can't get enough.

You can't imagine ending up with any other person. 

And I'll guess that if you've felt that, you've also felt that gutting realization feeling, too. That one moment when you realise that you're not her. You're not the one he will choose. The one that will get to see him first thing in the morning when he wakes up, when he gives you a lazy, still sleepy smile. He won't eat breakfast with you in the mornings, he won't even be spoiling you with breakfast in bed on the weekends. You will never kiss him the way you've imagined, and he won't be the one to hold you, or to make you laugh. And one day, he'll have that life with some other girl, and all you can do it watch as he disappears, taking your dream with him.

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