Friday, 20 May 2011

Definition of a 'True' Friend.

Friends, they're everywhere. Everyone second of every day we have the option to make them. When we commute to work, people surround us, and all you need is that one moment to connect and then you're both laughing, exchanging facebook addresses, and voila. Another friend. When you go out for the evening, there's people everywhere. They're at the bar waiting in the same tediously long queue where the bar man is serving anything with a grade A cleavage before you. You start to moan, and then they start to moan, and before long you're laughing as you hoist up your padded bra to make sure you're served next.

My point is that friends are everywhere. Sometimes we make them in the most conventional ways, through University, and through work. Others times they're in the most unlikely ways, enemies calling a truce because life is just too short to h
ate. Or an ex of your latest ex, because you feel like the only two people in the world to understand how that other person is feeling. You know, we have 300, 400, maybe even over 1000 facebook friends and Twitter followers, but how many of them can you count on to be there for you.

You see, this thing, friendship, it's a two way relationship. It's not about waiting round, just waiting for that person to be there for you. It's about making the choice to be there for them, whether they tell you they're okay, or that they don't need you. A friend is someone that doesn't need to be told, doesn't need hints and directions to know when somebody really needs them to be there.

They should be the person there for you, knowing exactly how you're feeling even when you say nothing. They should know when something is hurting you, yet you're putting on this brave exterior to the world. They should say those words that can comfort, and assure you, and when you cry, they're the ones rocking you back and fourth as they wipe your eyes with wads of tissue.

You see, anybody can be a friend. You don't need to particularly know someone to class them as a friend. We have them in all different kinds of places. They listen when we have hot gossip, they laugh when we rein-counter a disastrous date, and they let us moan on and on about something that recently pissed us off.

But a true friend, they're different. They don't just want to know gossip, or hear you slagging off somebody else. They want to hear about your problems and not because it makes them glad to know you're not perfect, they want to hear about them because if you've got a problem, it instantly becomes their problem, too. A true friend will never stop listening to something you say, even though they've heard it a dozen times before. They won't like all of your other friends, but they'll respect you enough to be nice to them. They don't discourage you because they're jealous, they'll encourage you time and time again because they want you to succeed. And more importantly, they will give you just as much as you, not just because they feel like they have to, but because they want to be there for you, all the time.

So friends, they'll come and they'll go. You'll lose one or two along the road, maybe more. But you'll find others. They can always be replaced. But true friends, they're rare, and you want to make sure you hold onto them, because they're not so easily replaced.

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